You know what helps with depression? Beer, Cheese and Christmas movies...
After years of having to deal with my own bullshit, and the intensity of the loneliness which I carry with me always, I've discovered there is a world in which I feel completely at home. I know no greater comfort than when I inhabit this place, wholly, in both mind and spirit. But, it is not an inviting place. It is dark, uncaring and full of horrors, both real and imagined. It is not a place for the timid, or really anyone besides me. It exists only in my mind and I'm a frequent visitor. It is place to escape to, regardless of my physical presence. I know, you're thinking maybe I'm a nutter. To live in a world created in one's own head is unhealthy and/or a little hippie-dippie-ish. You're probably right. They say that extroverts gain energy from the company of others and introverts seek solitude to regain their powers. I recharge the old batteries by escaping into my own world within the old brain box. It happens when I'm driving long distances by myself, when I'm cleaning the house with the headphones on, when I'm watching BoJack Horseman reruns at two in the morning, when I'm playing music in my room with the lights low; I can get there in a variety of ways. And I need to get there, frequently. But, here's the catch: if I stay too long, I will self-destruct but if I don't get there enough it grinds me down into a deep depression. A balance must be struck or I will suffer the consequences. The other downside is that there isn't a reward for maintaining a healthy balance, only a lack of negative side-effects. I don't get to assuage these feelings of darkness, only keep them at bay. The mindlessness of television is one of the many ways to distract myself and get through to the next day. Sometimes, that's all it feels like I am doing, just getting through. I am pained by the guilt that I am not spending every waking minute creating my art (music), but I haven't the energy many days because I've spent it just getting through the day to begin with. I realize that may sound hokie and very woe-is-me but it's true. I wish to God it wasn't but it is. Maybe someday I'll get caught up, and God-forbid, get ahead for once, but for now I'm quite happy to make it by, however slim the margin, day after day.
Now, for some random facts about the one and only Mr. Bradley Wik.
Favorite 3 Beers: (Rock Stars know a thing or two about drinking...)
3. Rogue Dead Guy Ale - This may be the only Northwest brew I actually enjoy. I fucking hate hops and all that IPA, IPR, IPX bullshit. When I drink one of those IPA style beers, I'm immediately transported back to my younger days when we had to smuggle booze without anyone finding out and used soda bottles to help with said smuggling. Then again, most of what we used to drink back then was a mixture of Southern Comfort and orange soda. Yep, that's what Northwest beers remind me of. Just gross shit you drink to get fucked up...
2. Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat - The fucking fruity-loops beer. Need I say more?
1. Miller Lite - The single greatest brew ever invented by human beings (not ruling out alien brewing technologies just yet). It tastes the best and is the best for you. It's practically part of a healthy diet. I believe it also cures AIDS or something like that... I've been drinking this for years and never had no problems with AIDS, just saying...
Favorite 3 Christmas Movies: (Tis the season)
2. A Christmas Story - Umm, not sure what to say. Turns out it's not as big on the West Coast as it is in the Midwest but still. It's not on for 24 hours straight for no fucking reason. I had Chinese-style duck on Christmas one year when I live in New York. I didn't get it with the head still on, but it was still a magical moment for me.
1. Die Hard - The single greatest Christmas story ever told. Hands down. I'm not going to justify it anymore because if you don't know this already, then... I don't know... Fuck, it just is.
Favorite 3 Cheeses: (I am from Wisconsin, after all...)
3. Any Fresh Cheese Curds from Wisconsin - You know the squeak when you hear it. Mmm, I can hear it now... If you don't know of which I speak, go here: https://www.wisconsincheesemart.com/cheese/cheese-curds/ buy some and find out...
2. Rogue River Blue Cheese - This is the cheese that reversed 27 years of hating bleu/blue cheese. My favorite restaurant in Portland, Gino's, always has new/seasonal cheeses on their cheese plate and they were the first one to serve me this delicious non-Wisconsin cheese. Ever since, I've been obsessed with this, and all, bleu/blue cheeses. Thanks Gino's!!
1. Sartori Black Pepper Bellavitano - Perhaps after the aliens come down and inhabit the earth, enslave all humans and force us to speak their language will we have the vocabulary necessary to describe such a delectable treat. Sartori has a whole line of Bellavitano cheeses; which, I know you've probably never heard of such a cheese but a Bellavitano tastes like a combination of parmesan, cheddar and butter. Again, mere words won't do it justice but I've never been the same since tasting this cheese. And, luckily for Northwesterners, there are now Murray's Cheese shops inside our Fred Meyers (regional grocery store) which have, and will gladly sample to you, these intoxicating Bellavitano cheeses. Try the black pepper, merlot and, if you're lucky enough, the cognac. Mmm, just fucking mmm...
We'll do favorite bourbons another day. Here's a hint: I like the booze flavored ones from Kentucky. For now, I have to listen to Neil Young's "Tonight's the Night" for the thousandth time. That and Mr. Bruce Hornsby's "Scenes from the Southside." Well, I don't have to, but I want to. That and drink some of my favorite bourbon, *%$*^$#^%#^%&). Stay tuned to find out which one that may be... Goodnight and Good Luck...
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