What do Women's Olympic Figure Skating, The Great British Bake Off, Meatloaf and my Music Video have in common? aka... just me and my Asperger's...

OK, so last week I promised a full-on Asperger’s mind journey, and that’s just what you’re gonna get this week. For those who don’t know, I have Asperger’s which is basically means I’m high-functioning with low-level Autism. Because I’m lower on the spectrum, the symptoms aren’t quite as obvious to others (or myself, for years) but they’re mostly all still there in their various shapes and ways they rear their ugly heads. Like repetitive behavior (like how I eat the same thing for lunch every day: two eggs, shredded chicken, spinach and salsa verde evenly divided between three corn tortillas with tortilla chips on the side. Or how after a show, I always come home and have a glass, or two, of bourbon and big scoop of cottage cheese. Weird, I know but that’s what I have to do), obsessive/repetitive interests (how late at night, before going to bed, I need my fix of Rick & Morty despite having played through all the episodes at least 12 times, with some episodes nearing 50 views or how I once listened to nothing but Open Mike Eagle’s “VERY MUCH MONEY” for almost a month. Luckily, no one had to share a car with me on any road trips that month…) and difficulties with social interaction/non-verbal communication (how small talk is extremely difficult, but if you wanted to, say, MAKE LISTS OF UNIMPORTANT THINGS or hear me rant about how much I hate plastic and the oil industry or hear a profanity-laced rant about HOW FIGURE SKATER MEDVEDEVA GOT SCREWED OUT OF A GOLD MEDAL AT THE LAST WINTER OLYMPICS, yes, I’m still pissed about that; all of those would be easy for me). All of which is to say, I’m wildly off topic and we haven’t even started… So, we might as well get going…

1) The Great British Bake Off - Season 10 - Why does Paul Hollywood hate Steph so much?

 

I know, you’re like “what?” Bradley likes baking shows? Well, kind of. I like this one (especially since the reboot with Richmond from IT Crowd, or whatever his real name is) and the holiday ones that are coming up soon. But that aside, Paul continually tries to put Steph in the middle to possibly going home range but she’s won star baker like 4-5 times this year, including a three in a row run in the middle of the season. Why is he looking to boot her out? He even snubbed her a handshake, which is a big deal for those who don’t watch, happens only 1-2 times per year for doing really fantastically well, then had what appeared to be a make-up handshake the next week and gave out a second right after to make it not seem as important. Seems like he was told by the producers he had to, so he did another to water it down. I’ve never like Paul but I especially don’t after this season. Why can’t Steph just be awesome and kick ass this season? Why is he trying to poo-poo her as the clear front-runner? I don’t get it but it’s been bothering me so I’ve been bringing it up unprompted as much as possible to try and uncover the answer to this riddle.

2) Why isn’t Meatloaf more revered as an artist?

 

In his heyday, he was essentially a mix of Elton John and Bruce Springsteen. I mean, come the fuck on WITH HOW AWESOME THIS SHIT IS. What a voice. I love every minute of this. I actually just had to stop writing so I could just sit and watch this in its’ entirety (for like the thousandth time…). Though it is a kinda bullshit that they replaced the actual singer for an actor for the video because she was “prettier” but that’s for another rant. And he had some other huge hits as well. Sure, his reign at the top was short-lived compared to his peers and most people my age remember him for either Fight Club or as the bouncer in Wayne’s World. And that’s fair, he was awesome in both of those. But artists that burned this bright, for however long they did, should be celebrated. Maybe I’m wrong but most of the time when I bring up Meatloaf I get scoffs or blank stares. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s like Peter Frampton, you had to be there. And if you were, you bought the record and the T-shirt, but if you weren’t, they didn’t stand the test of time for one reason or another.

3) World Series - Why did everyone assume the Astros would roll over the Nationals?

 

Look, this series isn’t over, though it could be tonight, but I was astounded to see how heavily favored the Astros were. The Nats proved they can hit anyone, have high-level pitching and ran through the National League (including my Brewers in the Wild Card game). Juan Soto is already a star who looks like he got Ted Williams plate discipline (at times), David Ortiz’s knack for big hits in big games, and a swing like Ken Griffey Jr.’s. (OK, it doesn’t really look like that, but the ball jumps off his bat in a similar way and I can tell the kid is having fun like Jr. did). And the Nats have a big 3 when it comes to pitch, same as the Astros. I still think the Astros will win the Series but I always assumed it to go 6 or 7, where the more talented team wins out. Still fucking weird that a home team hasn’t won a game yet.. And, props to the Nats fans for their “reception” of Trump. There’s a reason he rarely ventures out into the public in the D.C. area…

4) It’s Almost Halloween so… The Music Video for “Let’s Go Out Tonight” is back in season!

 

Man, that was fun to make. I know, the Michael Jackson references may seem weird these days, but we shot this just before the new doc came out. I’m not trying to state my preference one way or another, just trying to honor one of my favorite artists and their impact on me as an artist. That aside, my favorite memories of this video shoot:

• How excited I was when the amazing director/writer Kevin Pietila came up with this zombie theme for a song about two people trying to figure it out in a relationship. I was an immediate “yes” and so excited to do something I could have never thought of myself.
  
  
• Digging the grave (my own grave, as it were) was way fucking harder than it should have been due to the stupid clay/rocky soil in the Northwest. It was fun though and I don’t think a Coors ever tasted so good than after 4-5 hours of digging/picking that damn ground.
  
  
• 2+ hours into and over an hour to get out of the makeup wasn’t my favorite but it was fun to watch the awesome makeup artists do their art on me and the others. I love to watch passionate people do their thing and I got an up close and personal view of that during this process.
  
  
• I felt I did a pretty fucking good zombie in this video, raising the number of my acting skills to 3: looking sad/confused/bereft of emotion (aka my picture face. Check out the intro to the “LOOKIN’ AT LUCKEY” MUSIC VIDEO when “Luckey” walks in to see what I’m referring to), leading an unplugged/pretend band in videos (though we actually did finally play a show together last year) and being a zombie.
   
• How people generously let us use their house and land to film all through the night. I’m sure people had other things to do from 6pm-7am but we’re so grateful for their awesomeness and support.
  
  
• Finally, how when I finally crawled into the grave, had the dirt shoveled on top of me, was literally buried underground and got ready to shoot the coming out of the grave scene, of course, the generator went down; so no lights, smoke, etc. Because it looked good, we decided I should stay underground to save time so we didn’t have to restage it. Unfortunately, it took what I thought was an hour (probably more like 15 minutes) to get everything back ready to shoot. But, worth it.
  
  

Anyways, I have other things to do, so I’ll leave it there.

(dictated but not read)

Thank you Evening Muse! aka... it's been a crazy two months...

What a great night at the Evening Muse! Thanks to that whole crew: Don, for having me out, Erik, for the humor and keeping things together, Normal Dennis, for how awesome it always sounds and his fantastically surreal sense of humor. Thanks to all those who came out, listened, laughed at my (mostly) funny jokes and cheered/clapped at my awesome tunes and performance (special thanks to Dave and Stephanie!). It was a fantastic night and a crazy fucking awesome way to cap a crazy fucking couple of months here in the Charlotte area. It’s very heartening to think of how much has been accomplished in the two-plus months I’ve been here, and playing the Evening Muse, which was tops on my list of places to play before I moved here, is the perfect way to cap a crazy (and amazing) season of my life. I feel very blessed and will continue to bust ass to bring my music to the greater Carolina area and beyond. If you weren’t there, I’m sure I’ll see you soon, but you missed out. Sorry…

I know this feels like a pretty generic type of blog post, but the World Series is on and mostly I just wanted to express gratitude, and to pat myself on the back, for making shit happen. The world can be a funny place and moving to Charlotte, more or less randomly, has turned out to be the best decision I’ve made since… well, I don’t make many good decisions so I don’t want to say. But, rest assured, I won’t be going anywhere for a while, so get used to me and be ready to hear my name everywhere if you live in or near North Carolina.

Also, next week I’ll be back in full Aspergian force with some ranting, raving insanity and probably a list or two. Goodbye for now.

(dictated but not read)

Another great show and Carolina rain vs. Portland, OR rain... aka... just another reason I'm so glad to be in Carolina...

Awesome show this past Saturday night with DANE PAGE and WILL EASTER. I had the pleasure of kicking that show off and then sitting back, enjoying a few D9 Brewers Day Off beers and just taking in some amazing music. Wish I could’ve sat back and listened to myself as I was pretty good too, but we just don’t have the science for that yet. Someday. All in all, a great night for everyone. It’s always inspiring to play music alongside really talented people. I can feel how it pushes me to be the best version of myself as a performer, in a good way. I hope to play with these guys again soon. Thanks to everyone who hung out, listened hard (seriously attentive and wonderful crowd. I can’t tell you how much that means to a performer when everyone is locked in. Raises the experience for everyone involved.) and, shit, you’re supposed to do these in threes. Umm. And bought beer/wine? That works, I guess. Maybe people don’t know but the more you buy drinks, often the more the bands get paid. So, drink up in support of local music! That seems like a win-win if I ever heard one.

Now, this might sound strange, but one of the things I love the most about moving to North Carolina (apart from the obvious of not being in Portland, OR anymore… good riddance) is the rain. I get it. Former Portland, OR resident likes the rain? Isn’t that why people get so depressed out that way? Doesn’t it rain for like eight months out of the year? Why the fuck aren’t you sick of the fucking rain after almost 9 years of that?

Well, let me tell you. For those who don’t know, I was born and raised in the great state of Wisconsin where we had these things called Seasons. I loved them. Even, to a certain extent, winter (though I suppose my having a song called “MIDWEST WINTERS” with the refrain of “Those Midwest Winters will suck your soul away” might refute that statement…). And one of the things I loved was rain storms. The sounds are so soothing. In fact, I have my windows open right now so I can listen to the sound as I write this. I enjoy thunderstorms even more, but I’ll take a good rainy day any day of the week. It also makes me feel more comfortable inside where I can work on my computer and not feel like I should be doing something out and about, which is great for someone who is still learning the music scenes out this way and needs to do tons of research/booking online but normally hates to be on a computer for more than a couple hours. I don’t typically enjoy the out of doors, but I actually had a cup of coffee (super watered-down for those wondering how I drink coffee with Meniere’s Disease. I put in like a spoonful of ground for every three cups. It doesn’t taste as good as it used to but I still get that warm, brown elixir every morning and I don’t have to worry about my ear acting up. Meniere’s, for those who don’t know, is an inner ear disorder that affects hearing, balance, vision and just about everything else when it ramps up. To read my blog about my latest Meniere’s attack, CLICK HERE.) out on my patio this morning just to listen to and take in the rain. It was the first time I’ve been out there in weeks.

The reason Portland rain sucks (and all the Pacific Northwest rain in general) is that it’s so light and constant. It basically sprinkles all day, every day for months on end. I prefer my rain to come hard and then get the fuck out (ha!). The rain was so shitty, half the time my windshield wipers wouldn’t even work on it because the drops were so small and mist-like. So, when you have your six hour drive to the next show and you can barely see and the roads are super twisty-turny because of the damn mountains and the highways aren’t properly sloped so your constantly hydroplaning all over the place and for some reason, even though it rains for eight fucking months a year, no one knows how to drive properly in the rain and they keep almost hitting you and you haven’t had any coffee yet since every time you reach for the cup either some asshole tries to hit you because they’re on the phone instead of driving or you hit yet another mini lake on the freeway and nearly careen into the log-hauling truck you’re passing… I lost the point, but it wasn’t fun. You can’t even use an umbrella because it’s goddamn pointless. That’s actually how you could spot new arrivals: trying to use an umbrella, getting wet anyways and then getting aggravated since the misty-bullshit rain is still blowing onto them. Good times…

And that’s just one of the (seemingly endless) things I hated about Portland, OR. Maybe someday I’ll do a top 5 things but I have more important things to do today so… Listen to DANE PAGE and WILL EASTER, drink any beer that D9 brewing makes (especially the Pinch of Salt Salted Caramel Gose) and I’ll see you next week or at the next show. Bradley out…

(dictated but not read)

Michel Gondry is my hero... aka... Some awesome videos and my charmed life...

It’s been a while since I did a music night, so let’s do that. I love making lists, and making lists while listening to music is even better. This week I’ve been jonesing on some Michel Gondry, so that’s the theme for these tunes. These are not necessarily my favorite or my top 5 or whatever but they are the ones I want to listen to/watch tonight. Gondry was always a favorite director of mine but since I own a hand-drawn sketch of me done by the man himself (for real! See picture below), I’ll ride for Gondry til I die.

If you don’t know who Michel Gondry is, he is the director of one of my favorite movies ever (“The Science of Sleep”) but is probably most known as the director for “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” He has directed a myriad of amazing music videos so I’m choosing from those tonight. I know, I know, this list could just be all his collaborations with Bjork, but don’t worry, it isn’t. There’s so much to choose from, so let’s get going!

“Ride” - The Vines

Now this isn’t a crazy music video by any means, but I do miss/love the Vines. Their time atop the music world wasn’t long for this world but as a fellow Asperger’s, I can’t help but feel for Craig Nicholls (lead singer/songwriter). He is a brilliant musician but clearly struggled a lot. I hope he’s doing better now.

“The Hardest Button to Button” - The White Stripes

For sure, “Fell in Love with a Girl” is the more popular Stripes choice but this is such a cool/simple/brilliant idea. It’s so much fun to watch and was clearly a labor of love for the band/director. Gondry has such wonderful music taste. Man, I remember a time when the Stripes were my favorite band on the planet. They are still up there and they certainly put on some of my favorite live shows I’ve ever seen. It is strange to think of the first time I saw them (with about 200 other people) to the last time I saw them (fucking Madison Square Garden!). What a band. Jack White is truly a singular talent.

“A Change Would Do You Good” - Sheryl Crow

Still weirds me out that Sheryl Crow was a backup singer for Michael Jackson… Anyways, why does the OTHER VERSION of this video exist? This one is so much better and has so many famous people in it (Ellen, Jeff Garlin, Molly Shannon, Gail the Snail, or whatever her real name is, Andy Dick, etc.). It’s so silly and extraordinary and clever that I can’t help but forget about the song that’s playing. I miss when people used to invest in music videos like this.

“Hyperballad” - Bjork

What an incredible song. What an incredible video. Such a sad song though. It’s sometimes hard to listen to. But that’s not the case tonight.

“Everlong” - Foo Fighters

Man, that second Foo album was a killer. And this may be my favorite Gondry video. It’s so fucking imaginative and wonderful. And, it features his obsession with large hands (see the sketch of me below for more large-handedness). I’ve literally watched this video on repeat for hours. Maybe I’m the weirdo but damn is this fun.

“Fire on Babylon” - Sinead O’Connor

A very haunting tune indeed, but I actually watch equally for the video. The childish settings and themes placed against some truly terrifying imagery. There’s some dark shit in here. Takes the song to places I don’t know if Sinead even knew existed. The whole thing is fucking awesome. I know Sinead has taken a lot of shit from a lot of people but I stand by her originality and brilliance and bravery in songwriting and life. Also, never gets enough credit for her outstanding voice.

“Like a Rolling Stone” - The Rolling Stones

Ummm, Bob Dylan and The Rolling Stones? Yes, please. And throw my man Gondry into it? Hell fucking yes please! I don’t think I’ve ever seen this effect employed in another video and definitely don’t even have a fucking clue as to what it is. All I know is that it’s fucking awesome.

Anyways, I’m tired and you should enjoy those videos and the sketch of me below done by the man himself. Weird, right? But one of my favorite directors and writers on the planet drew me. ME. What the fuck? Sometimes I think my life is pretty fucking awesome…

(dictated but not read)

Top 5 reasons why my brain doesn't work so good right now... aka... singing the exhausted Asperger's blues...

Well, this week has been atrociously crazy. Not that this upcoming week is any different. Which is good, in a way. It means I’m busy, which really is to say that I’m starting to make more money, which is really good. Not sure if I used my commas correctly in that last sentence but I’m too tired to think any harder about it or fix the damn sentence. Which brings me to my top 5 list this week…

Top 5 Reasons Why Bradley’s Brain Doesn’t Work Right Now

 

5) My overall lack of caffeine consumption

One of the things that sucks is my inability to have more than a couple of (watered-down) coffee during the day. You see, when you have Meniere’s Disease (that pesky inner-ear disorder where my tubes can close up or flood and I get to deal with vertigo, excessive hearing loss, vision impairment, increased depression, etc. You know, all the fun stuff…) one of the things you have to do is cut back on caffeine. Caffeine restricts blood vessels so it can spur on a Meniere’s attack. In fact, MY LAST ATTACK was due to over-caffeinating (if that’s a word) and the heat, so I’ve been very sensitive to caffeine since then. But, that also means that when you need a little pick me up, you can’t have it or you risk the worst. Some days, that risk is worth it…

4) Wildly inconsistent meal times/missing meals

Since this week has been so hectic, I realized that a large part of my fatigue is due to missed meals. Being a musician means lots of late nights. But, doing all my office work (booking, poster making, set writing, looking for bandmates, researching new areas, etc.) in conjunction with my music bingo and podcast producing jobs on top of that, also means a lot of long days. All of which is to say, I’ve definitely missed many a meal this week and have had to make up meals around the midnight or so when I return home. Not a healthy/great way to do it and definitely hasn’t been helping me stave off fatigue.

3) Decision fatigue

I talked about this recently in a blog but I don’t remember when, and I’m too tired to look it up. But, my theory on this is that all energy (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual if you’re so inclined) is related so if you are taxing one area, say mental, once it reaches it’s limit, it will start to take from the others, most notably, physical. So, as I continue to struggle to make enough money as a musician (what musician doesn’t?) it makes every decision that much more impactful since it could affect my ability to, oh, you know, pay rent and eat food (another reason my meals this week have been shitty, cheapness). Since there’s no playbook for becoming a successful musician other than (trying to) book as many shows as possible, play in multiple bands for extra opportunities, hustle all day long and hope for the best/a shitload of luck, it means that it requires your brain to actively be involved in everything. Should I be targeting different venues? Should I shelve playing shows for a bit and focus on putting together a full-time band? Should I start recording again so I have new material to promote? If I do that, what happens to my current stock of records? What would I do with that new material? Should I finally bite the bullet and join social media? Should I record more videos so people have new online content to consume? Should I learn more popular covers and try and play more background type shows? Should I invest in my bass equipment so I can join another band that way? WHEN DO I FINALLY GET TO DO SOMETHING CREATIVE AGAIN?!

That is what’s swimming in my head just in the past few minutes. Thinking about, detailing the potential time vs. results, weighing those options, putting together a plan, all in my head takes a lot of mental energy which saps my physical energy. Hence, where I’m at now.

2) Too much “peopling” without a break

Now, most people when they meet me think I’m an extrovert. I love meeting new people and learning about them. It’s fascinating and I think getting to know those around us the reason we’re here on Earth, apart from our special task (mine is writing/telling stories to help people feel less fucked up and alone in this world like I felt most of my life, still do). But, having Asperger’s means that while I don’t necessarily outwardly have social interaction issues, it still is an emotional energy drain (there’s that darn energy thing again). So, when I have lots of peopling to do, I usually try and schedule a day to myself to just crash and watch TV (usually on Sundays to watch football. GO PACK GO!). But, with this week (and the next) being so crazy, I haven’t had a day off in while to recharge my peopling power. I’m running low. But, luckily I have some shows this week which will help recharge the old battery to get me through. But, I’ve scheduled next Sunday as a crash day and I’m really, really, really looking forward to it. Fucking Asperger’s…

1) My cat…

To be sure, I love my cat BUT she’s also a huge pain in my ass… As someone who is out late almost every night of the week, waking up at 5am is not my purview. A typical cycle goes like this: I’ll be out playing or at a show or whatever, get home around 11:30 or midnight, have to decompress from the energy/peopling, head to bed around 1 or 2am depending on how energized/exhausted I am, get up at 5 or 5:30am to feed my cat before she tears apart everything in my apartment in an effort to get my attention/be the biggest asshole in the house (tough to beat me but she does, fucking Catspergers…), try and fall back asleep for a while, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t, then wake up after another hour or so since I wasn’t really sleeping well that second go round, say fuck it, and start my day half-awake and half-dead. Awesome. Thanks Lovey…

So, there you have it. And that’s all, folks…

(dictated but not read)