some music for drunken fools such as i... aka come on a musical journey with me

Hello, friends. Fuck off, douches. And let's play some fucking music! I know I've been kind of a downer lately on here, so I'd like to rectify that by giving you the greatest gift of all, music. Maybe you know all these tunes, maybe you'll find something new, but either way let's go on this journey together. Literally, gonna just pull what I'm listening to in order as I write this. Here we go... (see Spotify playlist at bottom if you'd like to play along)

1. "TV Party" - Black Flag

I know, a drinking playlist and I opted for "TV Party" over "Six Pack," what the fuck? Well, honestly it's because I'm literally going to have a one-man TV Party later tonight. AS I MENTIONED RECENTLY, NewsRadio is online for the first time I've ever seen so I'm plowing through them all again in rapid succession. What a fucking joy to experience these for the, oh, I don't know, maybe 20th time but still. I'm loving every minute of it! But for now I have some pent up energy and need something to rock out to.

2. "Wish upon the Weather" - Altameda

This band is growing on me, hard. Just like my penis while watching Charlize Theron in "2 Days in the Valley." Someone recommended them like a year ago and I was tepid at best with my reaction. Like, look, we get it. Ryan Adams' "Gold" was a great album. But some of the lines in here "Maybe I lost the map, maybe I'm better off without it. Maybe everything I had, well, maybe I'm better off without that." Lord knows there's large parts of my life that I'd be better off without. Or would I? That's where music comes from, so I guess I'm better off with them. But they are why I drink too much and can't sleep some nights, so... But they allow me to continually write new music which brings me more joy than anything, so... Maybe... I don't know, but this is too deep for being only two bourbons in. Maybe I'm back to fuck you Altameda... Nah, this tune is too much fun. But these guys to remind me of another band that I can't quite think of...

3. "Woman in Rust" - Silver Torches

Just kidding, just remembered. These guys. It's a similar vibe I guess, I'm not sure why these two bands seem similar in my brain but they do. I think it's the way they make me feel. But this song is a perfect road trip song if you've got one coming up. Just smooth and pretty and gets you into another world for two and a half minutes.

4. "Tokyo Sunrise" - LP

Speaking of road trip songs. I once listened to this song for four hours straight on a trip coming back from Spokane, WA. It blew my mind and I couldn't get enough. The vocal is fucking insane. Just fucking insane. I had friends who claimed it had to be fake or "studio-ed" until they saw a live video and their minds blew. That voice coming from a tall, female, Bob Dylan-looking muthafucker? Unreal.

5. "The Professor & La Fille Danse - Live" - Damien Rice

While we're on the topic of great singers. All three times I've seen Damien are in my top 10 live shows of all-time. He's my favorite performer, outside of Bruce Springsteen, of course and whenever he is touring (rarely), I drop everything to go see him. I once rescheduled one of my own shows to go see him. He's that good.

6. "Brandy Alexander" - Feist

Since we're on the topic of great live performers, goddamn, what a talented woman. I can't help but play this song whenever I'm getting drunk. And being three or four bourbons in, it's time.

7. "I am a Scientist" - Guided by Voices

OK, it's officially time to get all existential and wonder how someone else wrote this song when it's so clearly about me. Robert Pollard and I may have more in common than I thought. When he says "I am a lost soul, I shoot myself with Rock N' Roll. The hole I dig is bottomless but nothing else can set me free..." Fuck.

8. "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue - Live" - Bob Dylan, duh

It's officially time to get transported back in time. Every time I hear this live version, I'm immediately back to being 16 and listening to this on repeat trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and how that harmonica part works so fucking well with this version of this song. I love everything about this song and this performance. It's everything I love about Bob in a nutshell. The 25 going on 60 voice, the elaborate, extended harmonica solos, the vague, poetic lyrics that really don't mean much apart from creating such a vivid world we get to live in for nearly six minutes, the bravado of the performance, especially considering he knew he was about to be booed soon during his electric set, but also the tenderness of the performance, which outshines anything that could be recorded in a studio. Mmm. It's such a delicious recipe. Thank you, Bob.

(dictated but not read)

eschuatsion... aka... what the fuck? thatt's supposed to say "exhaustion..." aka... words aren't workign

I fucking hate the Dodgers… Not quite Cardinals-level hate but it’s getting closer each year it seems…

My brain is dead. I’ve been traveling non-stop the past few weeks. Right now, I’m up in Anchorage, AK. My first trip to Alaska. Of course, I was welcomed in with an unexpected snowstorm.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m having a hard time interacting with people. Words aren’t working. Interacting with others for extended periods of time is always difficult for people with Asperger’s such as I, but this is excessive. It’s taking everything I have to write this now. The term “peopled-out” doesn’t even begin to describe it. The problem is I need to give myself more time alone to recharge but it isn’t the season for that. There will be a time to rest, soon…

I can’t wait for it. I’ve literally been killing myself for the past few years for it. Soon. Soon…

But for now, I’ll continue to push forward, towards a vague, uneasy future. But it’s all going to be for the best, I hope. I can see relief. I can see rest. I can see hope. I need that.

I hate to be cryptic but I cannot explain anything any further due to my lack of… words. Words aren’t working. I’ll get them back, but for now they elude me. I’m hungry and I’m tired. I’m going to head down to the Marriott hotel bar, have a sandwich, a bourbon and a beer and then sleep. Sleep…

Wait, I know. Why the fuck am I trying to explain this when it has already been written out in such poetic fashion? Shit…

Just listen to Aes Rock’s “Labor Days” and you’ll know. I couldn’t have said it better myself. “Labor Days” is exquisitely perfect for this scenario and also happens to be my fourth favorite hip-hop album of all time, behind “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy,” “Yeezus,” and “The Low End Theory.”

(dictated but not read) 

Random thoughts from an Aspergian Mind... aka this is what it's like to think like me

As I sit here in my room at a hotel near the Denver airport, I've been hard at work mulling over a few things that I probably shouldn't waste so much time and brain energy on:

1) How come the Brewers can take 2 of 3 from the Dodgers but go 0-3 against the Angels, who were mostly sans-Mike Trout?

2) As someone who is outspoken about his struggles with Asperger's/Autism, who enjoys researching/reading articles to help me (and probably moreso those around me) understand myself and my actions, and who is hoping to soon volunteer to help Autistic kids, how the fuck have I never heard of April being Autism Awareness Month until a week ago?!

 

Not doing so well with the awareness piece, ladies and gentleman... I have a vague memory of watching a Jon Stewart benefit but don't recall the specifics or a mention of an "Autism Awareness Month." But if we could get people to start seeing this in their children/students/etc. we could help a lot of kids (and parents/teachers/etc.) have a much easier go of it. I'm not full of regret or anything but I can't help but think of how different my life would've been if I had known I had Asperger's before 3-4 years ago.

3) Why the fuck did anyone listen to fun.?

Sorry, they came on an airport bar recently and jesus fuck... I don't think I've ever drank a $22 bourbon so fast... Of course, that was for a Knob Creek (double, but still a weak pour. Don't think it even filled up the measuring cup thingy all the way), so, yeah, airport pricing can go fuck itself...

4) How the fuck is there a band worse than fun.?

(Hint: they're called Grouplove, but take my word for it and don't look them up... Well, I guess that's not really a hint, it's just giving the answer but I didn't want you all to waste time, energy and your poor fucking ears trying to figure out/guess who it is...)

5) Buffalo Trace bourbon is delicious. OK, so this isn't a question, but still.

If this stuff cost $50 a bottle, I'd still splurge on some every now and again. At $25, it's a steal. I mean, I would never pay a penny more (wink. Just in case Buffalo Trace is listening... Then they would've seen the "wink." Damnit!). Though, full disclosure, my "house" bourbon is still Elijah Craig.

6) Is "Barbara Allen" my favorite traditional folk song?

My intro to this song is from the Bob Dylan Gaslight 1962 bootleg, which is hard as fuck to find something to link to online. But, there is a decent version on Youtube, which for some reason is cut off prematurely:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkOH7Rdfnkg

I can't believe a time existed (and a version of me) who played this tune at almost every show. Good times... I used to know hundreds of old folk songs. I wish I still did...

 7) I'm going to hate the upcoming Star Wars "The Rise of Skywalker" movie... Why will I still go see it?

I didn't like episodes 7 or 8 and the Solo movie was fucking dreadful (though "Solo" is immortalized by the marquee in my "LET'S GO OUT TONIGHT" MUSIC VIDEO) so I didn't have high hopes for it to begin with. But, after seeing the trailer, I'm out. Instead of moving forward with the new characters (Rey and Poe are both pretty fucking awesome, objectively), they are pulling dead people (literally and figuratively/in the Star Wars universe) back into the movie. Just let Rey and Poe be kickass and move on.

To be fair to episode 7, it was a fun watch despite the unimaginative script. And "Rogue One" is just a good movie. I wish we could've seen the rated-R cut as I have to imagine that was a fucking even more incredible movie.

8) Speaking of movies, when does "Hobbs and Shaw" come out?

 

This I could find easily on that ol' interwebs thing, but I'll just dream about how awesome it's gonna be instead. Fuck, Fast and Furious is awesome but these guys are seriously best in show when it comes to that world.

9) How do I make better drum sounds on my Moog Sub 37?

Again, something I could just look up but is more fun to spend hours fucking around with the knobs. So many knobs... I've lost entire days playing with sounds for literally no reason other than I like them and they sound cool. Now if only I could learn how to play a fucking keyboard. Not sure what the fuck the holdup is but for some reason keyboards make no sense to my brain. I think of things in terms of guitars since that's how I learned to play music so maybe that's it. Maybe my brain is like "fuck, this isn't anything like what we know. It's stupid and I hate it." Which sounds like pretty Aspergers-y and how I react to a lot of things, so probably.

10) When was the last time I sat and listened to Shostakovich's Symphony No. 5? And has anyone articulated more of the human experience in a musical piece ever? Maybe "Bold as Love" but that's probably it...

 

I once made the mistake of putting ol' No. 5 on before bed to try and help relax my brain (you can see why going through this inane/insane list of questions I pose to myself and have to answer before moving on to the next one). I ended up spending the next 50 or so minutes getting so emotionally involved that I couldn't fall asleep for another 3 hours. Good times...

11) In this day and age of internets and things, why is NewsRadio not available online and more popular than it is (i.e. not at all)?

Holy shit! It is available on a thing called Crackle, whatever the fuck that is. They also have "The Critic" and "Bewitched." Oh, happy day!

Well, I now have some TV watching to get to, so fuck off. We'll talk next week.

(dictated but not read)

Baseball and Van Hagar aka... this is the shit that keeps me up late at night

Well, I finally got to see the one and only Mike Trout and man did he blow away my expectations. Unfortunately, I was in LA a few days early so the Angels were hosting the Rangers instead of my beloved Milwaukee Brewers (who they play the next few nights) but it was everything I could've wanted and then some. Trout not only saved a run on defense with his ridiculous arm but hit two home runs in a 3-1 Angels win. Basically, he won the game all by his fucking self. And he makes it look so easy. I can assure you that playing in the greatest league in the world shouldn't be so easy but it is for Trout. And the very next night all he did was respond to getting plunked by hitting a grand fucking slam during his next at bat. Magical. Just fucking magical. But this isn't a baseball blog (I'm not a big enough fan of math for that) so I digress...

Tonight, I'd like to address a rather touchy topic in the Rock N' Roll world: Van Hagar. First, a few facts about me. I was born in the late 80's and grew up in the 90's. I grew up with anything previous to the 90's being referred to as "classic rock." The first, and only, Van Halen record I heard on the radio was "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge." They say you never forget your first, and I still have fond memories of those songs. I didn't know any better. I didn't know they existed before this, and with another singer. I could only process those songs at face value. And look, I get that this was not anywhere near the peak of their powers. It wasn't even the best Van Hagar album. "5150" holds that title. Seriously, listen to THIS SHIT. But, it was the first one I heard. And, judged on its own merits, "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" is a damn good album. Is it "1984?" No, but that's not what I was judging it against in the early 90's as I was developing my musical taste. I judged it based on whether it rocked and the tunes were memorable. And they were. If you can set aside judgements based off comparisons, Van Hagar is actually pretty fucking awesome. Am I crazy or DOES "RIGHT NOW" ROCK PRETTY FUCKING HARD.

And look, I see the flip side. I had a friend whose hill he chose to die on was that Damn Yankees was way better than anything Ted Nugent did on his own. And again, Damn Yankees did rock. They did occasionally roll as well but they were not the steamroller of Rock N' Roll and sexual energy that Ted Nugent was. They, in fact, kind of sucked comparatively. But that's the key word, "comparatively." Had Styx, Night Ranger and, of course, Ted Nugent not existed previously, we would have been like "damn, those yankees can fucking rock it." But all we did was piddle on the parade since it was kind of schlocky 80's ballad-y type shit. But IS THIS WHERE MAEBY FROM "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT" GOT HER NAMESAKE? We might never know...

But, back to Van Hagar, how is THIS SHIT NOT SUPPOSED TO MELT A RURAL WISCONSIN BOY'S 12 YEAR OLD HEART WHEN HE FINDS IT? Back in the day all these albums came via BMG music's 12 for 1 deal. I can't count how many times I signed up to get that promo and promptly quit the "club." I remember getting those letters/brochures and going through and checking off the albums I would get for my "free" CD's after I paid like $30 for the first one. I remember ordering some really random shit if there wasn't anything I wanted past the first 9 or 10. I got a Britney Spears album ("...Baby One More Time"), a Mandy Moore album ("So Real") and a Jennifer Lopez album ("On the 6," which coincidentally I would spend a fuckload of time on the 6 train when I lived on the upper, upper east side). I was also probably the only 10 year old who ever ordered a Bruce Hornsby record (though it was a mistake as I checked the box I thought was an Aerosmith live album but which turned out was not...). I think the most random album I ordered was still the Corrs "In Blue" as I had no clue what it was but had a vague idea of hearing a song of theirs once. But, of course, "BREATHLESS" KICKS FUCKING ASS. It was probably due to the hot girl on the cover. 10 or 11 year olds can be very easily won over. The album I wish I didn't lose when my mom lost her house was the New Radicals "Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too." "YOU ONLY GET WHAT YOU GIVE" IS UNDENIABLY BRILLIANT. What am I talking about anymore?

Wait, the Brewers are playing the Angels and MelonTheFelon is also streaming. Also, I need pizza. Bourbon is delicious but even better with pizza. Fuck being lactose-intolerant. Lactaid motherfuckers!

(dictated but not read)

umm... aka fuck Portland, love Modest Mouse and Mike Trout...

Well, at least this week I don't feel like shit. I am down in L.A. though so unfortunately this will be a brief one. I don't have much to say as I spent the past week eating soup and bread trying to not shit my pants. Fun. And not that shitty as fucking band who RUINED MY FUCKING 2012. Well, come to think of it, I guess they're the exact same amount of "fun." Food poisoning and Fun., what a pair. It's like looking a mirror. One's shit at music and everything they do and one is just shit. Or is it vice-versa? Separate but equal... too soon? 

If I had anything interesting to say, now would be the time to say it. But I don’t. I’m just fucking tired. I’m probably going to be tired until I leave fucking shitty-ass Portland (even though I’m not there now). I do get to see Mike Trout play baseball in person on Friday for the first time in my life. I’m so excited. He’s like the fucking Bruce Springsteen of baseball but I’ve only watched from behind my television screen. I know it’ll likely be a normal Mike Trout game on Friday but that’s exactly what I want to see. Greatness in it’s average environment, being “average” great. Other than that, I’ve got some business to conduct and some friends to see. Have I mentioned that I’m so fucking tired??

Sorry all for the short post, but I’ve got to enjoy L.A. (mostly Anaheim) whilst I’m here and get my shit taken care of. Oh and get some fucking vitamin D, whatever that is (says the Pacific Northwesterner).

If you need a listening recommendation for the week, I’ll redo Bradley’s Vinyl Obsession of the week or whatever the fuck I called it last time. This week it’s Modest Mouse “The Moon and Antarctica.” The thing Modest Mouse does as well as anyone, if not better, is create atmospheres and moods with their music. Before Isaac even utters a word, you feel, see, smell, taste and hear the landscapes. It’s an incredible feat and he’s fucking incredible at bringing you into his world, into the world he wants you to see. “Lonesome Crowded West” will always be my favorite Modest Mouse album, hell, it got me to move to the Pacific Northwest all those years ago and once again (kind of, long story) more recently. I saw a quote from Isaac from some random interview where he stated he didn’t really like Portland but it was more or less where the car broke down and he ended up. I feel the exact fucking same way. It was a weird non-compromise/compromise between me and an ex-girlfriend that brought me to Portland and weird shit upon weird shit that kept me there. I swear someday I’ll write a book about my Portland experience and it’ll get a lot of “what the fuck”-s. It’s messed up. There’s lots of sex, drugs, Rock N’ Roll, some suicide, some attempted suicide, police involvement, blackmail, hospital bills, and on and on. You get the idea. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, nothing…

(dictated but not read)