Even a Packers win can't cure Asperger's... I know, right?
GREEN BAY PACKERS WEEKLY UPDATE:
Well, folks, we did it! We gave Aaron Rodgers a reason to come back. Was it a great reason? No, it was the bare fucking minimum needed. But, who gives a shit? HE'S COMING BACK! Sure, the loss to the Ravens would have really helped our cause; as would have an unlikely win over the Steelers, who seem like they are mostly concerned with getting their kicker as many "practice" game-winning kicks as possible before the playoffs to get him prepared for the Jaguars (yes, it's still fucking weird as fuck to think of them as legitimate contenders) and/or the Patriots. But, nevertheless, here were are. Not out completely, but goddamnit, the one time I need the Saints and Vikings to come through... I think they both lost knowing they couldn't beat a pissed off Aaron Rodgers in the playoffs so their best bet was to keep the Packers out of the playoffs altogether. The Falcons seriously tried to give the Saints that game and the Saints acted like winning was somehow related to the myriad of sexual harassment/assault stories coming out recently and they wanted nothing to do with it, not even be in the same room or building as it. And the Vikings are, well, the slightly above average team (who is still legitimately the third best team in the NFC behind the Eagles and Rams, pending the severity of Wentz's injury. Wow, the Vikings have sure benefited off the injuries of MVP-caliber QB's this year. Sheesh... And I don't want to hear any of that mumbo-jumbo about "our starting QB is hurt too" as Bradford:
A.) Was always going to get hurt
B.) Has played 2 good games in his career - last year vs. the Packers and this year's season opener vs. the Saints
C.) WAS ALWAYS GOING TO GET FUCKING HURT ANYWAYS
Also, that hit on Rodgers, and the hit on Goff last month, by Barr were mostly definitely filled with intent. I don't need anyone to tell me otherwise. I do have eyes, you know...)
I thought they were, which still makes them, subsequently, the third best team in the NFC this year. Good times...
Another solid performance from our defense and, this time, our special teams. Our offense continues to put our defense in very difficult positions and refuses to help them out after the first five minutes of the game up until the last five minutes of the game it seems. And Clay, Mr. "ARE YOU TAKING ALL YOUR TINY SHAMPOOS?" Matthews seems to find ways to make big plays in big moments, despite his injuries. Ha Ha, who I PREDICTED WOULD START MAKING SOME BIG PLAYS, made what turned out to be an enormous, points-saving interception at the end of the first half.
Sadly, we have another week of people who don't watch football but insist on giving you their opinion based on their scanning of the Redzone channel and the stats from their fantasy football league calling Brett Hundley a good quarterback. I even heard one announcer say "Teams are definitely going to take a look at this young man once the season is over." Why? Are there a lot of teams in need of, and willing to overpay for, a mediocre backup QB? Oh wait, that's right, Scott Tolzien, Mike Glennon, Geno Smith, Brock Osweiler, Ryan Mallett, Matt Barkley, Matt Cassel, Matt Schaub, Kellen Moore, etc. all got paid by new teams despite their old teams deeming them not worth it after watching them every single day in practice. So, yeah, I guess teams are in need of, and willing to overpay for, an average backup.
But his stat line, again, belied his play:
35/46 - 265 yards - 3 TD's - no picks - 31 yards rushing
It looks good right? Well, if you watched the game, it wasn't. Hundley is great on the first drive and the last two drives of each game it seems. He led 3 TD drives in the 4th quarter and overtime. He reminds me of someone... Wait... There's someone I can remember who was painful to watch for the first three quarters of a football game but somehow turned into a touchdown machine in the 4th quarter and seemingly pulled win after win out of his ass... No... It can't be... Brett Hundley is like... TIM TEBOW... HE'S BACK...
To be fair, Hundley is not as painful to watch when throwing a football as Tebow, but goddamn he sure plays a lot like him.
THIS WEEK IN MUSIC:
Goddamn, Asperger's is a bitch sometimes... Take today for instance. My girlfriend and I went to go get some lunch at a local place we have been wanting to try forever (like five years). Easy right? Sounds fun, trying a new place we're both excited about. Well, we get there and it seems a little out of sorts. The workers are all unaware of what anyone else is doing and seem generally very disorganized. Whatever, the food smells great. I order my food and it's a little more expensive than I would've thought but who cares if it's good, right? Well, it was... fine. Irritated that I just overpaid for a mediocre meal, I try not to lose my shit. I'm stewing and wishing I hadn't paid for it. My poor girlfriend is trying to casually enjoy her mediocre food but can't because of me. I obviously don't want to start ranting and raving about how overpriced the mediocre food is in the middle of the day during the late lunch rush, but fuck I really want to punch someone. It ruins my day, until...
So, I'm shooting a music video later this week for "Lookin' at Luckey" which is fucking awesome. It's my favorite song on the album and it's sounding like it's going to be an amazing video. The director I'm working with MADE THIS, which is unbelievably good, and I'm putting on makeup for the first time; which, I'm not sure I can get better looking but let's try. It's all very exciting. So exciting, in fact, that I went out and actually bought some new clothes for the shoot. Now, I never buy new clothes. "Why?" you may ask. Well, for multiple reasons. Hmm... Let's see:
- I hate spending money on things that aren't music, food or booze, generally I hate spending money on things that aren't experiences
- I hate going to places where lots of people are, like stores or malls (Thanks Asperger's!)
- I like to wear the same things every day, over and over and over (Thank's Asperger's!)
- When I do actually buy new clothes, I hate to wear them so I won't ruin them (just me being cheap and/or weird, I guess)
So, it was weird for me to actually spend some money on myself but I DO GET TO WRITE IT OFF, so I have that going for me, which is nice. I was excited. Some nice new clothes that will look great on camera. EXCEPT, I wash the jeans and now there is a huge spot where the sticker that shows the size (31x30, I'm not ashamed) was and it won't wash off. What the fuck? This is fucking madness. This never happens on the $40 Levi's I buy once every six years. WHAT THE FUCK? I don't get it. I desperately search online for a store that has the same size in stock so I can swap them out for a new pair. No dice. I'm pissed. I feel deceived. I feel ripped off and taken advantage of. MY BRAND NEW PAIR OF FUCKING JEANS LOOKS FUCKING STUPID AND ARE GOING TO LOOK EVEN FUCKING STUPIDER ON CAMERA! I couldn't be more angry. I hate it. I feel stupid. "This is why I don't deserve nice things..." I think. I'm so depressed about it that I can't eat dinner. My day is ruined, AGAIN...
And, once again, my poor girlfriend has to deal with this shit. I have some Krud Kutter goo be gone or whatever the fuck it's called which should take off any glue residue and then I'll rewash them. Seems simple enough but I can't get over the emotional toll it has taken. IT'S ABOUT AS DEPRESSING/RIDICULOUS AS THIS. "And who could understand the all-consuming pain? Only a man who's weeping in the rain knows where to go..." Wow. But Billy Joel was certainly on the spectrum and has many songs, INCLUDING THIS ONE, that are about it, whether he knows it or not. Billy, I know why you go to extremes, it's call the spectrum, bud.
Nevertheless, my song of the week is:
Frightened Rabbit - "My Backwards Walk"
This song saved my life once. I wish that was me being overly dramatic, like I so often am. I remember having an anxiety attack in a hotel room somewhere in Eastern Washington and trying to not jump out the window into traffic. All I wanted to do was drink until I couldn't remember and be done. I can't remember where that thought came from but I knew I needed to get out my room. It was after midnight (not in an Eric Clapton kind of way) so I wasn't sure what to do. I got in my car and just started driving. Frightened Rabbit's "Midnight Organ Fight" was in the stereo and was playing, though I wasn't paying much attention. After about 30 minutes, this song came on. I didn't know where I was or where I was going but this song felt so sad in a peaceful sort of way for some reason. I started crying. I didn't know what was happening as I sped along past the farm fields and empty landscapes. I just kept pressing the back button to start this song over again, and again and again and again. Occasionally, I'd pass a semi-truck trying to make up time to somewhere but it was pretty much just me out there. Mostly, I just stared out the passenger side window and watched the so-dark-they-seemed-infinite fields while playing this song on repeat. I must've driven for at least two or three hours as my half-full gas tank was starting to run low. I pulled off to try and check my phone's GPS to see where I was but I must've gone too far since I had no signal. I drove on and found signs for I-84. I had driven all the way back to Oregon, I guess. I'm glad this song came on since speeding along at 80 miles an hour in that state of mind is probably not the best thing one can do. Anyways, thanks Frightened Rabbit...
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